& Wednesday, March 29, 2006
supposed to be cadding..
but just to take a break. heehee. my eyes sting from staring too much at the comp. digital media is much faster than hand drawn, but the process of learning how to use it is a long journey pricked with anguish. =(really yearning for some tlc now. dear's in camp tonight, but i know he will be thinking of me. can't wait for next friday's submission to be over. i will look patchy and pale and shitty by then, and i will come home and collapse into a deep sleep. yes i will do that. it sounds wonderful. got my UM holiday urban studies programme, will go to Penang for two weeks in May for the studies, and then back to Sgp for a 3 week design studio. anyway, today has not been such a smooth sailing day. i woke up with a throbbing head and e lights in my room seemed to flicker and thump in sync with my heartbeat. the weighing machine had a weak batt and gave a cranky reading. i weighed 145.1kg. went to school for an online term test which was open book and thus open for discussion between everyone, it's not such a good test of my knowledge. not that i have much, my sch mates helped me out alot. then did some cadding and tried to render my model, and the programme hanged on me. and when i got home, the light in my room spoilt. no wonder it 'flickered' this morning. now i have such a romantic ambience in my room with a table lamp and a paper lamp on. it makes me want to sleep so much, which sucks. i've been seeing alot of people's msn nicks saying they have bad luck/they need more luck. maybe it's my turn now. what a time. the thing i need really badly now is some cuddling and deep, uninterrupted sleep, without waking up in a jerk when the alarm clock starts beeping and think 'shit i haven't finished cadding', then frantically staring around, wondering what i should do first. 3 zits and a coffee machine.
posted by
vera ;at 11:05 PM
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& Tuesday, March 28, 2006
let me go home
listening to Michael Buble's 'Home' now. it's one of my favourite songs. Another summer day Has come and gone away In Paris and Rome But I wanna go home May be surrounded by A million people I Still feel all alone Just wanna go home Oh I miss you, you know And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you Each one a line or two "I'm fine baby, how are you?"Well, I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough My words were cold and flat And you deserve more than that Another aerorplane Another sunny place I'm lucky I know But I wanna go home I got to go home Let me go home I'm just too far from where you are I wanna come home And I feel just like I'm living someone elses life It's like I just stepped outside When everything was going rightAnd I know just why you could not Come along with me This was not your dream But you always believed in me Another winter day has come And gone away And even Paris and Rome And I wanna go home Let me go home And I'm surrounded by A million people I Still feel alone Let me go home Oh, I miss you, you know Let me go home I've had my run Baby, I'm done I gotta go home Let me go home It'll all be alright I'll be home tonight I'm coming back home i think it's really sweet, and something worth singing about.
posted by
vera ;at 9:22 PM
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& Wednesday, March 22, 2006
on coming of age
recently, i feel old.okay..older.maybe because recently, i've had the chance to hang out with some girls who are a couple of years younger than me. not much difference in age, but somehow i find that i can't relate well to their concerns sometimes. i'm sure i worried about the same things when i was their age, but now when they talk to me about them i feel detached, like a donkey quietly listening to human talk.i don't really get what you're trying to tell me, or understand how you really feel. sometimes i even feel irritated. such a small thing, must you make a big fuss out of it? shucks, am i being insensitive, or is there *gasp* a generation gap...my point of view is, always, if you like it, do it. i won't judge you on what you do. if you don't like it, don't do it and then feel funny and kinda regret but still go ahead and then end up thinking too much and talking about the same thing. it is not very fun to be on the receiving end, when i don't wish to judge you. i want to say nice things to you, but sometimes i really really don't know what to reply. i guess i do fall into this think-too-deliberate-too-talk-too-much routine sometimes. but i am making a conscious effort to stay out of it. because i learnt that it gets tiring, it doesn't help yourself, and isn't enjoyable for the people around you. getting more and more cranky. 2.30am, i'm in studio. i so badly wish i could be sleeping now but there's stuff to be sorted out. so hi there dark eye rings and pasty complexion.good night my love :)
posted by
vera ;at 2:12 AM
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& Saturday, March 18, 2006
an un-zouky zouk night
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haven't blogged much for awhile. school work's getting harder and harder to keep up, and nothing ever seems to get completed. urgh. projects, pin-ups, print-outs, modelling, argueing, mediating. frustrations.
yesterday i decided i needed a break so the whole day i spent it...not doing any work. i went to school around 10+am for a project discussion, and then pretended to myself that i was gonna work on my model. then at 2+pm, me, Crystal, Oli, Cheryl and Jo went to the nearby yacht club for a swim. Crystal booked a room there for her belated b-day celebrations. we lazed around in the pool, had a leisurely lunch at the cafe, enjoying the little chances we have for relaxation in recent weeks.
in the evening, went over to Mike's place. packed Mos burger for dinner. when i reached he was asleep (poor boy's not feeling well) so i woke him up and we had dinner, watching Goldeneye with his parents. later switched to Extreme Makeover home edition cos i wanted to see people tearing down houses. and then we went to Zouk to meet his friends. some black and white partyin phuture...that turned out to....be...a...J...C...bash...
Mike and i were there first. so we went in and found a corner and ordered....orange juice. we weren't in the mood for drinking so we spent time chatting while waiting for his friends. Miss Celest decided to join us later, so we were waiting for her as well.
after everyone arrived we still spent alot of time standing around. Celest and i were changing spots the whole time cos the air con was so cold. the music was s.l.o.w
s..l..o..w.
s...l...o...w
i was not in a party mood. when Sam, Celest and i went to the dance floor, i was mildly shifting around instead of dancing up a storm as per normal. found it weird myself. the countless botaks around didn't help as well. i sms-ed Mike for him to come find Celeste and i when the two of us found ourselves in one of those...trenches that army boys like to dig. their chimpanzee faces were a threat.
we left around 1+, cos the music turned from RnB to some weird action-movie-like genre. Celeste, Mike and i shared a cab. on the way to Celeste's place the 3 of us had a meaningful and honest chat, which i thought was really good. i stayed over at his place. after a nice warm shower we snuggled up and slept. much better than the party. woke up to delivered Mac's breakfast, continued Goldeneye. and had a good laugh that he took the wrong medicine before sleeping. no wonder he was sniffing and snoring the whole night.
posted by
vera ;at 10:43 PM
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& Thursday, March 09, 2006
=(
my mum is such a wet blanket. =(
posted by
vera ;at 9:18 PM
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& Friday, March 03, 2006
Mike is so skinny.
Mike's home! on thurs morn. went to pick him up with his parents. it was at T3, the new budget terminal. ha-ha. i can't believe they held a competition to name the budget terminal 'Budget Terminal'. anw, it is really budget to the budget. it's so bare, it doesn't feel like Sgp. there was this staff entry (dunno why its on the main facade)that looks like they decided to cut a hole in the wall at the end of construction. and the grass all around was brown, although on thurs it was the first day of operation.okay enough about T3. Mike's lost weight, and still says he's fat. duh. i look like a mother cow next to him. i need to think of a secret ploy to put weight on him. so i can look like Giselle in comparison to him. heh heh heh. visited Ck with Mike in hospital yesterday. he's just had an operation. Mike was being mean and kept making Ck laugh. that poor guy's gonna split his wounds. hospital food doesn't look too good, and he asked for Mike's mom's noodles and duck soup today. hahaa. i would have asked for those dishes too, they're good!when i was finding my way around the hospital, the same old feeling came to me. i don't really like to visit the hospital. i'm afraid when i walk past the emergency room i will see some mangled body, or when i walk past a room i will see an old man dying, or past the children's ward where i will see an ill kid unconscious and hooked up to tubes. i'm so scared of people dying. i know many more people get out healthy and well, and only a very small percentage don't make it out alive, but it's just something i feel uncomfortable about. i hate witnessing suffering and death.
posted by
vera ;at 11:49 AM
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